Embarrassed About Being Helped

We can be a very proud group of people, at least that’s how it used to be. We were afraid to ask for financial assistance when we hit a hard patch because we thought it made us look incapable. We didn’t want anyone to help us physically because that meant we had to admit we couldn’t do it ourselves, it bruised our ego, and we felt we would then somehow owe that person. If that were the case, why does God’s word tell us that we should help the needy, the poor, and the sick. I’ve already gone through times when I needed to depend on others, although I tried to do what I could. Sadly, my ego got in the way of me using crutches as long as I should. The reason wasn’t because I was embarrassed to use the crutches, but I was struggling to use them consistently. What does that mean, you may ask? Well, both my knees were a little sore, but about 5 days ago, my left knee gave out on me. I had been using crutches on and off for most of those days. The kicker? I found myself switching back and forth between favoring the right leg and favoring the left leg. Even though they both benefitted from it, I felt like someone would think that I was trying to elicit sympathy but couldn’t keep my story right... or in this case, protect the same leg consistently. As we near the end of today, I’m noticing a little bit more pain in my knees, but in fear of being a hypocrite, forgetting which knee was the bad knee, I am choosing not to use the crutches at all. The big question is, why do we care so much what others think. If we know them, we can explain the circumstances, and if they don’t know me, why do I feel compelled to justify myself before them. We are concerned about pride even when it comes to prayer. We are quick to lift up friends and family in prayer, but if we have a need for prayer, we are often silent. Whether having a great disability or almost no problems, we need to reign in our pridefulness and accept the gift. It is nice to express our thanks, but we don’t always have to pay for it. We don’t’ want to steal the joy of the one with the gift of service. I might still use my crutches for longer walks so as not to wear out my knee unnecessarily. I am experiencing one other debilitating issue, the need for sleep and so I bid you a good night. Father, Thank You for life and breath, physical and spiritual, plus needy and self-sufficient. Help me deal with my prideful ways. Amen